hey monday!

in

today felt different.

it's not like i woke up this morning and gave myself a much-needed pep talk - you know, the whole 'today is a new day...do something great' sort of talks. i definitely didn't do that.

instead, i woke up lazily [note: slowly would be too graceful a word to use in this instance], with a sick, feverish little one and a drowsy husband next to me. we woke up with our phones in-hand, a terrible habit i so desperately want to get out of, deciding to keep our little home from school, which in turn would keep me home from my freelance work.

after re-reading that paragraph, i'm not sure how today was any different than every other gloomy monday i've felt not-so-motivated. the last few mondays (and to be honest, most days of the last couple of months), i've felt under-motivated. and even that may be an understatement.

but again, i said today felt different.

it was beautiful outside. honestly, absolutely beautiful. the sun was shining, there was something spring-like in the air...and that puts a little pep in my step. oh, and today was week 12 of my second pregnancy. which means the dreaded first trimester is over...and i think my body felt it (quite literally.) my perspective shifted, my energy levels, which had been building over just the last couple of days, finally got me off of my couch for more than an hour.

WIN!

i mean, i was still in my just-rolled-out-of-bed-find-something-quick clothes from this morning at 4p this afternoon, but my nails were painted...and not just my toes or my fingers. BOTH sets of extremities were painted, with topcoat.

this was huge. how huge? not only were my nails painted, i also showered and shaved my legs, i was excited to write, and i committed to getting our little one back into a bedtime routine (to hopefully rid him of his night terrors.) oh, and those piles of unfolded clean laundry lying in all corners of our home that i've grown to have a strong disdain for - they got touched - folded and put away.

today, felt different.

today was the day that i committed to loving on myself a little bit more so i can love on family and friends a little bit harder, a little bit longer and not feel sucked dry by the time i get into bed.

today, i felt powerful, inspired, committed to taking control of my circumstances and stop living vicariously through the people who inspire me on instagram or the pretty radical group of women i'm connected to through a facebook group.

some days are harder than others to feel like this, but yet again, i did say that today felt different.

 

to serve.

in

you only need a heart full of grace

and a soul full of  

LOVE. 

- dr. martin luther king jr. 

when i don't have the words to share what is in my heart and i am gifted the time and opportunity to reflect on the impact of great men [and women] in this world, only their words and actions have a way of expressing the power that we all have to make a difference.

thank you for following your passions, dr. king.

 🎶"...he wanted everybody to love one another...that was his dream..."🎶

focus on the strawberries.

we've all been in the same situation:

long flight, crying baby, helpless mother, eye rollers galore, sensitive & compassionate human traveling who empathizes with said helpless mother.

hell, i've been all of them.

do you notice how the first question we ask the crying child (who often can communicate most powerfully through crying),

'what's wrong?'

when someone's having a bad day, week, month, we continue to ask 'what's wrong?' thinking we'll get to the root of the issue.

when things aren't going your way, you ask yourself 'what's wrong?'

why do we bring attention and focus to all of the things that are making us upset, sad, angry, resentful when we are already all of those things?

what if when we traveled with crying children, we instead focused on the AWE-some earth we see below us, or the clouds we get to fly through, or the sky in which we are so high?

what if instead of steaping in all of those things we no longer want to feel, we brought attention to all of the things that just are?

or, better yet: what if, instead of making ourselves more of what we already are (angry, resentful, yucky), we declare all of the things we want to feel or be when we get through it?

because, for the most part, we do. we get through the sadness we feel when we lose something or someone (and yes, it often takes time), we get through the blowout fights with spouses, we get though the crucial conversations with best friends, co-workers, managers. we do...we are, after all, very resilient beings.

what if, just like the crying child on my flight today, we focused on the beautiful strawberries in the book that the mother used as a distraction, or the opportunity we have to travel (and come home to a family I adore), or the choice we can make to sit in our sorrows or overcome with more zeal?

i'd much prefer to focus on the things i'll learn or the feelings i'd like to feel instead of pouring more salt into the wound.

no, that doesn't mean i'm giving two thumbs up to ignorance or not feeling the pain, i'm just convinced that gratitude and happiness can overcome a whole lot of 'bad' in the world.

and since i'm all about increasing the gratitude and happiness metric, next time, i'll ask, 

'hey, what's right?'

maybe that will give space to talk about how red the strawberries are, or how blue the sky is. 

a house is not a home...

we've lived in our place for about 7 months now. we've now lived in our eco-friendly, super-modern, clean-lined rental house for longer than we have left on our lease. 7 months of unique storage options, a wardrobe (and not a built-in closet), radiant-floor heating, a rain-catching water barrel and just the bare necessities for our life.

closets have been cleaned out, clothes donated, furniture sold on craigslist and dressers bought that both of us can live with. the mister built a kick-a** dining table (that's still not finished - more to come on this) and we've hung some art (my favorite being kid art). we've shed layers we haven't needed, which has felt good.

somehow, though, we still have boxes that haven't been unpacked and homes for quite a few things have yet to be found. oh, and did i mention that this 'really cool' space (that my mister was hesitant about to begin with) is a loft? a LOFT with a toddler and a husband who loves watching movies and TV well-past midnight?

our house is never perfectly put together. but something i do value is a house that feels comfortable, that's cozy, that's clean, that's beautiful. you know, those photos you see on instagram of peoples' homes that make you envious but you say to yourself 'yeah, right. that NEVER happens in real life.' well, you see, usually, that's what our home is like. it's something i value because it's grounding and gives foundation. you can keep up a house, make it beautifully lived-in and organized even when you have a toddler. it doesn't always have to be a mess.

we have yet to settle in, though. we have yet to create a routine in our home. we have put so many things off, left projects incomplete because this house is not our home.

march will not be here soon enough and we will find a home to settle in. a cozy, perfect-for-us home.

i cannot wait.

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all images via pinterest.