monday//life-lately.

in ,

it seems that these kinds of posts come more frequently than i'd like - the ones where i apologize (mostly to myself) about not writing more frequently, about not giving myself the time to sit down and do what lights me up, about doing this or that before something else. honestly, it's because they do happen pretty frequently; this time, i don't feel so guilty. or at least i'm not going to dwell on it.

it is what it is.

yes, it has been a while since i last sat down with the intention of reflection. that's what my writing is, after all - a chance for me to connect to and reflect on all of life's happenings, the pretty things i see, the times i forget to pay attention to myself and let life take control., anything and everything i'm loving at the moment.

i guess that's what i've been doing for the last few months.

that, and daydreaming.

  • i celebrated my 30th birthday in a few of the best ways possible:
    • a night on the town in nyc with some of my closest friends.
    • a romantic dinner (sans little one!) at arguably one of the best restaurants in nyc with my handsome mister.
    • brunch at our favorite lower east side restaurant with one of my best friends and her lovely (and bonkosi-approved) suitor.
  • i've lost track of my yoga mat. and i mean this in the philosophical sense. [and have since found it again, thanks to this guy.]
  • i've forgotten which programs i use to blog. no, really.
  • i've talked to my best friend every week. it's felt good to just pick up the phone.
  • i've thought about a new yoga teacher training, reading books, writing and learning something new.
  • i got pregnant.
  • i started a baby registry.
  • we spent a few quiet days at the beach on the outer banks.
  • i've dreamt of traveling, long distances, short ones, different countries, back home, my mister and rambunctious toddler right by my side. i've dreamt of this daily.
  • i've thought about selling most of our belongings to live a more simple life...and afford ourselves the ability to travel to destinations near and far.

mostly, though, i've been living, breathing it all in.

travel-brings-power-and-love-back-to-your-life-quote-1.jpg

to serve.

in

you only need a heart full of grace

and a soul full of  

LOVE. 

- dr. martin luther king jr. 

when i don't have the words to share what is in my heart and i am gifted the time and opportunity to reflect on the impact of great men [and women] in this world, only their words and actions have a way of expressing the power that we all have to make a difference.

thank you for following your passions, dr. king.

 🎶"...he wanted everybody to love one another...that was his dream..."🎶

this post doesn't need a title.

we went to see the christmas tree lighting tonight at city hall.

i didn't think.

i didn't think about the protests that haven't stopped around the country since last week's news. i didn't think to read the news today. i didn't think about the injustice that we are becoming so numb to, so numb that so many have just started to accept it.

i didn't think about that.

we just wanted to take the little one to see the christmas tree lighting. we just wanted to show our little one the joy that this season brings us (me, in particular.) we wanted to carry on with our day-to-day. but to carry on with our day-to-day means that we run into people taking a stand.

i didn't think i would be overcome with the energy of the protest that took over the lighting ceremony. that just going to city hall to show the little one the beauty of the giant christmas tree covered in beautiful lights in the middle of city hall would actually get me thinking about the world in which we exist today. i just didn't think.

i didn't think that deleting facebook from my phone this morning would keep me so far away from what was happening today. i didn't think that i relied so heavily on social media to get my news. i didn't think i'd miss the news about the injustice served once again in staten island.

yet again, i didn't think i'd get used to this news.

gratitude: seeing beyond the lines.

i am a product of this:

my great-grandfather (left) in his village in zaire/democratic republic of congo with what can only be assumed to be a belgian colonist circa 1890's.

my great-grandfather (left) in his village in zaire/democratic republic of congo with what can only be assumed to be a belgian colonist circa 1890's.

and this:

my awesome dad (left) with three of his four siblings, all still living in small-town iowa.

my awesome dad (left) with three of his four siblings, all still living in small-town iowa.

and this (obviously):

two of the world's best parents on my wedding day.

two of the world's best parents on my wedding day.

today (and every day), i am grateful that these photos give insight into my family, my values, my upbringing. i am grateful that these three photos color my approach to the world, to my relationships and that they provide the foundation on which i will raise our son.

but today, this year, the context of these photos is different; the power in these photos is so much stronger for me, provides me with so much more strength to be the change that builds a legacy for the future of our children beyond color lines. beyond black and white.

today, i am grateful for:

  • being raised in the middle of iowa in a biracial & bicultural home, where we never talked about race because we didn't need to.
  • both of my parents working their asses off to provide me and my 4 siblings with the world (as we knew it.)
  • access to high quality public education, accessible to everyone, regardless of income, race or neighborhood.
  • the understanding that hard-work, dedication and thinking outside of the box can create your future.
  • embracing anyone and everyone, as equals, for who they are and their unique experiences of the world, make the world a better place for all.
  • rarely ever having to talk about race...even though my skin was brown and the majority of my peers had skin several shades lighter than my own.
  • having aunts and uncles from a small town in iowa who were a huge part of my life and for never having to question whether or not i belonged.
  • my father's passion for making a difference in the world and joining the peace corps and for my mother's willingness to embrace a new culture.
  • my husband and his unique perspective.
  • safety, support and systems in place that allowed me to thrive.
  • seeing different colors for their beauty and loving just the same.

you see, i have a lot to be grateful for but until we can all see colors for what they are instead of seeing them as lines to divide, separate, push away, the issues that have been thrown into our faces will continue with fury. unfortunately, this is not a place to raise a child without a little bit of worry and a WHOLE lot of hope that things will change.