i just had a moment, reflecting on the holidays with my family. i’ve always, always, always loved the holidays. something about the energy, the air, the spirit, the joy, the gratitude. (granted, sometimes, it was a little self-indulgent, being the youngest of 5 kids, getting pretty much whatever i asked for, having pumpkin pies made just for me and being treated like a baby, which is why my christmas list was always done by the end of october; often pages long and sometimes including photos so santa couldn’t mess up.)

over the years, i’ve been spoiled less, have found that i’m more grateful now for my childhood and my upbringing and the celebration of the holidays with my family. we never had any real traditions, or so i thought, but we always went to my grandparents’ or an aunt or uncle’s for thanksgiving and christmas ‘dinner’ (which is, for those of you outside of the midwest what you would call ‘lunch,) and we would have ‘supper’ (or what you may call ‘dinner’) at my parents’ house with the other side of the family.

we’d open one* present on christmas eve, me playing santa’s helper up until about 4 years ago and i would rush all 4 siblings out of their beds onvchristmas morning to open gifts.

*one present sometimes turned into 3 or 4 depending on how easily i could pressure my parents.

when i think about our family’s traditions growing up, i always think about how i wanted a more structured tradition…or at least i wanted it to be called a tradition. i wanted the christmas tree up the day after thanksgiving, i wanted a holiday party, i wanted everyone to love the holidays as much as i did. i’m not sure where this desire or feeling came from, but it’s something that, for me, is seemingly inherent.

with tradition, there’s legacy. there is this idea that these traditions will carry on year-to-year, from generation to generation. having a family of my own now, i want nothing more than to start these traditions for my family (or maybe it’s just about carrying on my family’s legacy.) i want a night to decorate the house, trim the tree, a holiday party, a christmas tree-lighting, a christmas-village visit, a trip to see santa, an evening spent sharing with each other what we’re most grateful for.

what i really want is for my excitement for the holidays and gratitude for family and loved ones to be passed down…to far surpass me; to build a legacy.

fyi: ((i am taking a break from my work-from-home day to indulge in a little bit of selfish inspiration. write when i’m inspired, right?))