to serve.

you only need a heart full of grace

and a soul full of  

LOVE. 

- dr. martin luther king jr. 

when i don't have the words to share what is in my heart and i am gifted the time and opportunity to reflect on the impact of great men [and women] in this world, only their words and actions have a way of expressing the power that we all have to make a difference.

thank you for following your passions, dr. king.

 🎶"...he wanted everybody to love one another...that was his dream..."🎶

gratitude: seeing beyond the lines.

i am a product of this:

my great-grandfather (left) in his village in zaire/democratic republic of congo with what can only be assumed to be a belgian colonist circa 1890's.

and this:

my awesome dad (left) with three of his four siblings, all still living in small-town iowa.

and this (obviously):

two of the world's best parents on my wedding day.

today (and every day), i am grateful that these photos give insight into my family, my values, my upbringing. i am grateful that these three photos color my approach to the world, to my relationships and that they provide the foundation on which i will raise our son.

but today, this year, the context of these photos is different; the power in these photos is so much stronger for me, provides me with so much more strength to be the change that builds a legacy for the future of our children beyond color lines. beyond black and white.

today, i am grateful for:

• being raised in the middle of iowa in a biracial & bicultural home, where we never talked about race because we didn't need to.
• both of my parents working their asses off to provide me and my 4 siblings with the world (as we knew it.)
• access to high quality public education, accessible to everyone, regardless of income, race or neighborhood.
• the understanding that hard-work, dedication and thinking outside of the box can create your future.
• embracing anyone and everyone, as equals, for who they are and their unique experiences of the world, make the world a better place for all.
• rarely ever having to talk about race...even though my skin was brown and the majority of my peers had skin several shades lighter than my own.
• having aunts and uncles from a small town in iowa who were a huge part of my life and for never having to question whether or not i belonged.
• my father's passion for making a difference in the world and joining the peace corps and for my mother's willingness to embrace a new culture.
• my husband and his unique perspective.
• safety, support and systems in place that allowed me to thrive.
• seeing different colors for their beauty and loving just the same.

you see, i have a lot to be grateful for but until we can all see colors for what they are instead of seeing them as lines to divide, separate, push away, the issues that have been thrown into our faces will continue with fury. unfortunately, this is not a place to raise a child without a little bit of worry and a WHOLE lot of hope that things will change.

focus on the strawberries.

we've all been in the same situation:

long flight, crying baby, helpless mother, eye rollers galore, sensitive & compassionate human traveling who empathizes with said helpless mother.

hell, i've been all of them.

do you notice how the first question we ask the crying child (who often can communicate most powerfully through crying),

'what's wrong?'

when someone's having a bad day, week, month, we continue to ask 'what's wrong?' thinking we'll get to the root of the issue.

when things aren't going your way, you ask yourself 'what's wrong?'

why do we bring attention and focus to all of the things that are making us upset, sad, angry, resentful when we are already all of those things?

what if when we traveled with crying children, we instead focused on the AWE-some earth we see below us, or the clouds we get to fly through, or the sky in which we are so high?

what if instead of steaping in all of those things we no longer want to feel, we brought attention to all of the things that just are?

or, better yet: what if, instead of making ourselves more of what we already are (angry, resentful, yucky), we declare all of the things we want to feel or be when we get through it?

because, for the most part, we do. we get through the sadness we feel when we lose something or someone (and yes, it often takes time), we get through the blowout fights with spouses, we get though the crucial conversations with best friends, co-workers, managers. we do...we are, after all, very resilient beings.

what if, just like the crying child on my flight today, we focused on the beautiful strawberries in the book that the mother used as a distraction, or the opportunity we have to travel (and come home to a family I adore), or the choice we can make to sit in our sorrows or overcome with more zeal?

i'd much prefer to focus on the things i'll learn or the feelings i'd like to feel instead of pouring more salt into the wound.

no, that doesn't mean i'm giving two thumbs up to ignorance or not feeling the pain, i'm just convinced that gratitude and happiness can overcome a whole lot of 'bad' in the world.

and since i'm all about increasing the gratitude and happiness metric, next time, i'll ask, 

'hey, what's right?'

maybe that will give space to talk about how red the strawberries are, or how blue the sky is.