today felt different.
it's not like i woke up this morning and gave myself a much-needed pep talk - you know, the whole 'today is a new day...do something great' sort of talks. i definitely didn't do that.
instead, i woke up lazily [note: slowly would be too graceful a word to use in this instance], with a sick, feverish little one and a drowsy husband next to me. we woke up with our phones in-hand, a terrible habit i so desperately want to get out of, deciding to keep our little home from school, which in turn would keep me home from my freelance work.
after re-reading that paragraph, i'm not sure how today was any different than every other gloomy monday i've felt not-so-motivated. the last few mondays (and to be honest, most days of the last couple of months), i've felt under-motivated. and even that may be an understatement.
but again, i said today felt different.
it was beautiful outside. honestly, absolutely beautiful. the sun was shining, there was something spring-like in the air...and that puts a little pep in my step. oh, and today was week 12 of my second pregnancy. which means the dreaded first trimester is over...and i think my body felt it (quite literally.) my perspective shifted, my energy levels, which had been building over just the last couple of days, finally got me off of my couch for more than an hour.
i mean, i was still in my just-rolled-out-of-bed-find-something-quick clothes from this morning at 4p this afternoon, but my nails were painted...and not just my toes or my fingers. BOTH sets of extremities were painted, with topcoat.
this was huge. how huge? not only were my nails painted, i also showered and shaved my legs, i was excited to write, and i committed to getting our little one back into a bedtime routine (to hopefully rid him of his night terrors.) oh, and those piles of unfolded clean laundry lying in all corners of our home that i've grown to have a strong disdain for - they got touched - folded and put away.
today, felt different.
today was the day that i committed to loving on myself a little bit more so i can love on family and friends a little bit harder, a little bit longer and not feel sucked dry by the time i get into bed.
today, i felt powerful, inspired, committed to taking control of my circumstances and stop living vicariously through the people who inspire me on instagram or the pretty radical group of women i'm connected to through a facebook group.
some days are harder than others to feel like this, but yet again, i did say that today felt different.